Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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