I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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