i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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