Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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