you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You have to summon your inner elephant
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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