Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
