we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
