Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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