i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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