watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My feet surprised me
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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