Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
