Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
