She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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