can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
