We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Please don't give away my fajitas
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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