It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
