Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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