flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
