Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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