it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
