His hands were made for my vagina.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
They have beer where we have blood.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize