omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
