I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
