Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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