Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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