now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
