After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
