Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Randomize