I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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