I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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