He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I wish I only lived at night.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
