I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
