i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Nicole vs. Life
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
