Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
