Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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