I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
