NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
