Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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