I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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