Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
