he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
