I cannot find my penis.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Even my vagina gasped.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
