trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
