You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
