Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
