Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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