ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
sarcasm needs its own font
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Found your dick twin last night
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
