First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
