Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
