I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
