Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
