at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
