Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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