Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
The Olympian is in my bed
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
