awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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