drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'm having to shit out rocks
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