you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Randomize
