is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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