So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
