those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
