Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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