Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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