I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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